If there’s one thing I hate (okay hate may be a bit strong)…one thing I fear/hate…are those kids that come to your door selling magazine subscriptions. I’m a total sucker. Their perfectly rehearsed speeches about saving them from the streets or going on their dream trip before college always gets me to fork over 50 bucks for a subscription that costs about $9. You may wonder where I’m going with this in my quotables for The Goonies. I think some of you may know where I’m going though…that’s right. I’m going to start asking them to do the Truffle Shuffle and the subscriptions they get off me will depend on their answers. For example, here a few possible scenarios:
- 1. They run away (Perfect! Mission Accomplished!)
2. They giggle and say “Oh Mister, quoting the Goonies” Nice one. (They get 2 magazine subs off me).
3. They actually do the Truffle Shuffle. (I end up with 50 mag subs…everything from Low Riders to Organic Gardening for Small Homes under 500 sq. Ft).
And without further aideu…
- First you gotta do the Truffle Shuffle
- Okay Brand, Michael Jackson didnt come over to my house…to use the bathroom, but his sister did
- Thank you sir, I mean ma’am (So simple, yet genius. Makes me laugh out loud everytime)
- Hey, you guys!
- Pinchers of Power! Pinchers of Power! You guys, I be saved by my Pinchers of Power!
- Everything. OK! I’ll talk! In 3rd grade, I cheated on my history exam. In 4th grade, I stole my uncle Max’s toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In 5th grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog… When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out… But the worst thing I ever done – I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa – and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then….this was horrible… all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life
- You know Sloth if you sit too close to the TV you’re going hurt your eyes
- The marajuana goes in the top drawer. The cocaine and speed go in the second drawer. And the heroin goes in the bottom drawer. Always separate the drugs
- Get the rope here. Slothy, Slothy, jumprope Slothy
- This is Willie… One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie
Browse Timeline
- « Baxter you know I don’t speak Spanish – Anchorman (2004)
- » I Hate That Bob Barker! – Happy Gilmore (1996)
