Happy Gilmore - Movie Quotes

I’ll be the first to admit I’ve taken a few running hockey-style slap shots when teeing off at the local muni, but I’m just not as good as Happy. I usually take out a large divot or completely whiff the ball. Happy is the MAN.

If I saw myself in cloths like that i would kick my own ass (I usually end up saying this to my friend who still wears his neon Billabong jacket with two different color sleeves)
I’ll be at the Red Lobster in case you change your mind!
The price is wrong Bitch
You know what else could draw a crowd? A golfer with an arm growing out of his ass
I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast! You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Just tap it in, Just tap it in. Tap Tap Tappy. Tap Tap Tap-a-roo
Look at the name tag. You’re in my world now, Grandma
Shooter McGavin: Stay out of my way, or you’ll pay. Listen to what I say. Happy Gilmore: Yeah, why don’t I go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?
Doing the bull dance, feeling the flow
I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they SUCK
I’m stupid. You’re smart. I was wrong. You were right. You’re the best. I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking. I’m not attractive
Harness in the good energy, block out the bad. Harness. Energy. Block. Bad. It’s like a carousel. You put the quarter in, you get on the horse, it goes up and down, and around. Circular, circle. Feel it. Go with the flow
I tell you, the real winner today is the city of Portland. Every time I come here it gets hard to leave. I bet you put something to the water
During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records: most time spent in the penalty box; and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody
Damn you people. Go back to your shanties
You little son of a bitch ball! Why you don’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME! SUCK MY WHITE ASS, BALL!