Napoleon Dynamite Quotes

Does everyone have a friend like Napoleon Dynamite or is it just me? I swear when I first saw this movie I thought it was scripted after one of my best friends. He doesn’t really look like Napoleon, but he does have a lack of fashion sense, is a little pissy when things don’t go his way and is one hell of dancer. I only wish I had an uncle as cool as Uncle Rico. Man, when that guy tosses a football and eats that bloody steak…I have aspirations and dreams to be like him one day. F’ing stud. By the way if any of you dorks play fantasy sports on Yahoo and come up against a team named Uncle Rico, that’s me bitches. Be afraid, be very afraid.

I caught you a delicious bass
Lucky!
After one week with me in my dojo, you’ll be prepared to defend yourself with the strength of a grizzly, the reflexes of a puma, and the wisdom of a man
I like your sleeves.. they’re really big
Ohhhh, man I wish I could go back in time. I’d take state
At Rex Kwan Do, we use the buddy system. No more flying solo. You need somebody watching your back at all times. Second off, you’re gonna learn to discipline your image. You think I got where I am today because I dressed like Peter Pan over here? Take a look at what I’m wearing, people. You think anybody wants a roundhouse kick to the face while I’m wearing these bad boys? Forget about it. Last off, my students will learn about self respect. You think anybody thinks I’m a failure because I go home to Starla at night? Forget about it!
You know, there’s like a boat-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I’m pretty good with a bow staff
Well, I think it’s getting pretty serious. We chat online for like two hours a day so yeah, you could say it’s getting pretty serious
It took me like three hours to finish the shading on your upper lip. It’s probably the best drawing I’ve ever done
How much you wanna make a bet I can throw a football over them mountains?… Yeah… Coach woulda put me in fourth quarter, we would’ve been state champions. No doubt. No doubt in my mind.
Give me some of your tots
Tina you fat lard, come get some dinner! (My poor friend Tina is subjected to this line all the time. I bet she wishes this movie was never made)
Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger
Deb: What’s a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It’s pretty much my favorite animal. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic
Do the chickens have large talons?
Last week, Japanese scientists explaced… placed explosive detonators at the bottom of Lake Loch Ness to blow Nessie out of the water. Sir Cort Godfrey of the Nessie Alliance summoned the help of Scotland’s local wizards to cast a protective spell over the lake and its local residents and all those who seek for the peaceful existence of our underwater ally
I’m just trying to make some sweet moola with Uncle Rico
Make yourself a dang quesadilla!
Vote for me, and all your wildest dreams will come true
You know, like nunchuk skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills… Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills
That one’s good. It looks like a medieval warrior