MaMeatloaf is thinking of having a litter of kids one day and when I do, they will all be named after Animal House characters. Just think of how cool that would be. I’d be like “Otter go tell your brothers Boon, Pinto, Bluto and Flounder that it’s time for supper”. Man, I can’t wait for that.
- Honestly, Boon, you’re twenty-one years old. In six months you’re going to graduate, and tomorrow night you’re going to wrap yourself in a bed sheet and pour grain alcohol all over your head. It’s cute, but I think I’ll pass this time
- Christ. Seven years of college down the drain. Might as well join the fucking Peace Corps
- Double secret probation
- Larry’s evil conscience: Fuck her. Fuck her brains out. Suck her tits, squeeze her buns. You know she wants it
Larry’s good conscience: For shame! Lawrence, I’m surprised at you!
Larry’s evil conscience: Aw, don’t listen to that jack-off. Look at those gazongas. You’ll never get a better chance
Larry’s good conscience: If you lay one finger on that poor sweet helpless girl, you’ll despise yourself forever… I’m proud of you, Lawrence
Larry’s evil conscience: You homo - A pledge pin on your uniform?!
- Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week… She was going to make a pot for me
- Otter: Let me give you a hint. She’s got a couple of major-league yabbos
Boon: Beverly!
Otter: No. But you’re getting warmer. Here’s another: “Oh God, Oh God, OH GOD!”
Boon: Marlene! Don’t tell me you’re gonna pork Marlene Desmond!
Otter: Pork?
Boon: You’re gonna hump her brains out, aren’t you?
Otter: Boon, I anticipate a deeply religious experience - Your Delta name is…. Pinto. Why Pinto? WHY NOT!
- Zero point two… Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son. Mr. Hoover, president of Delta house? One point six; four C’s and an F. A fine example you set! Daniel Simpson Day… HAS no grade point average. All courses incomplete. Mr. Blu – MR. BLUTARSKY… ZERO POINT ZERO
- Dad! Mom, Dad, this is Larry Kroger. The boy who molested me last month. We have to get married
- See if you can guess what I am now. I’m a zit. Get it?
- Food fight!
- Dean Vernon Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg Marmalard: Well that would be hard to say, sir. They’re each outstanding in their own way
Dean Vernon Wormer: Cut the horseshit, son. I’ve got their disciplinary files right here. Who dropped a whole truckload of fizzies into the swim meet? Who delivered the medical school cadavers to the alumni dinner? Every Halloween, the trees are filled with underwear. Every spring, the toilets explode
Greg Marmalard: You’re talking about Delta, sir
Dean Vernon Wormer: Of course I’m talking about Delta, you TWERP! - May I have 10,000 marbles, please
- Can I buy you some lunch? Oh, you got your lunch. Well, how about some milk? Got your milk too. Can I just massage your thighs while you eat?
- Do you mind if we dance with your dates? (MaMeatloaf likes to go to high school proms and pull this line on those little twerps. They always say yes. MaMeatloaf is pretty damn cool like that)
- Katy: Boon, I think I’m in love with a retard
Boon: Is he bigger than me?
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