The 40 Year Old Virgin Movie Quotes

Ok, I’ve had a request for a Steve Carell movie and, frankly, The 40 Year Old Virgin was the only one I could think of off the top of my head. After some further research I was pretty much right. I mean he did star in Evan Almighty and Get Smart 2, but come on, Ma Meatloaf isn’t gonna watch that crap. Let’s bring Michael Scott to the big screen and hope he doesn’t make Get Smart 3. So again, thanks to my twitter friend @LegendaryWriter for NOT LIKING Tropic Thunder (almost crushed our friendship) and suggesting some Steve Carell films. Here we go…

I need some poon! I need genital to genital connections!
She had hands as big as Andre the Giant’s, and she had an Adam’s apple as big as her balls
Andy Stitzer: I just don’t want a big box of porn in my apartment
David: There’s some really great stuff in here. Really great movies in here, man. Hey, did you ever see School of Rock?
Andy Stitzer: Yeah
David: Well, this is… It’s called School of… You know…
Andy Stitzer: That’s nice
David: But it stars Jack Black Cock
Andy Stitzer: That makes sense
You know what’s a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM’s and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that’s the best part about the game
You’re puttin’ the pussy on a pedestal
That girl was a ho… for sho
Don’t ever be named Dan. Dan ryhmes with man, and men jerk off
David: You know how I know that you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie “Maid in Manhattan”
Cal: You know how I know you’re gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once
David: You know how I know that you’re gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, “I love it when balls are in my face”
All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It’s written, it’s a code written in his DNA, says, “Tackle the gazelle.” And believe it or not, in every man there’s a code written that says, “Tackle drunk bitches.”
I hope you have a big trunk, because I’m putting my bike in it
Mooj: Life is about people. It’s about connections
Andy Stitzer: It’s all about connections
Mooj: It’s not about cocks, and ass, and tits
Andy Stitzer: Yeah
Mooj: And butthole pleasures
Andy Stitzer: It’s not about butthole pleasures at all
Mooj: It’s not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez
Andy Stitzer: Please stop
Mooj: And these cincinatti bowties, and these pussy juice cocktail, and these shit stained balls
Andy Stitzer: Mooj, just please stop
No. You let that seed grow into a flower. Then you fuck the flower
Y’know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but he’s rocking the shit in this one!
Here it is – Boner Jams ‘03. It’s a mixtape of all my favorite boner scenes in the summer of 2003 (MaMeatloaf will be making his own Boner James ‘09. Look for it at Wal-Mart soon)