Funny movie lines from The Naked Gun

The Naked Gun has to be one of the best spoof movies out there. Right up there with Airplane. Of course one of the common denominators is the king of dead pan comedy, Mr. Leslie Nielsen. This guy is so good in these roles. I’m surprised he hasn’t been in more comedy hits. Just re-hashing these quotes from Naked Gun, makes me want to sit through an all day rain fest Naked Gun marathon. Come on, rain already.

Frank: It’s the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year’s Day.
Jane: Goodyear?
Frank: No, the worst.
Entering without a search warrant, destroying property, arson, sexual assault with a concrete dildo…?
Tell me, Mr. Papshmir, in all the world, who is the most effective assassin?
It’s a topsy-turvy world, and maybe the problems of two people don’t amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!
Det. Nordberg: Drugs… drugs…
Frank: Nurse! Get this man some drugs! Can’t you see he’s in pain?
Det. Nordberg: No… no…
Det. Nordberg: Heroin, Frank! Heroin…
Frank: Uh… that’s a pretty tall order, Nordberg. You’ll have to give me a couple of days on that one
No… you’re right, Ed. A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go!
Protecting the Queen’s safety is a task that is gladly accepted by Police Squad. No matter how silly the idea of having a queen might be to us, as Americans, we must be gracious and considerate hosts
I’d known her for years. We used to go to all the police functions together. Ah, how I loved her, but she had her music. I think she had her music. She’d hang out with the Chicago Male Chorus and Symphony. I don’t recall her playing an instrument or being able to carry a tune. Yet she was on the road 300 days of the year. In fact, I bought her a harp for Christmas. She asked me what it was
Mrs. Nordberg: Oh, my poor Nordberg! He was such a good man, Frank. He never wanted to hurt anyone. Who would do such a thing?
Frank: It’s hard to tell. A gang of thugs, a blackmailer, an angry husband, a gay lover…
Yes, he’s in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle
Frank: Nice beaver!
Jane: Thank you. I just had it stuffed
You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan
Doctors say that Nordberg has a 50/50 chance of living, though there’s only a 10 percent chance of that
It’s fourth and fifteen and you’re looking at a full-court press
Mayor: Now Drebin, I don’t want any trouble like you had on the South Side last year, that’s my policy.
Frank: Well, when I see five weirdos, dressed in togas, stabbing a man in the middle of the park in full view of a hundred people, I shoot the bastards, that’s *my* policy!
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare-In-The-Park production of ‘Julius Caesar,’ you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!