Quid Pro Quo, Douchebag – The Hangover (2009), Movie Lines and Quotes

Oh, man. Yet another movie I have lived through. Ok, maybe not the part where you stay in the deluxe suite at Caesars Palace (substitute The Frontier complete with picketing workers out front), the tiger in the bathroom (substitute barf in the bathroom), Mike Tyson singing (substitute Kirov, our Russian Taxi Driver singing) and a naked Asian man in the trunk (substitute a…..ok I have experienced the naked Asian in the trunk). Anyway, I could relate to this movie. I used to love Vegas and now it scares the crap out of me. Movies like this and Very Bad Things show how easy it is for everything to go wrong.

Stop! You’re getting too close to my shaft!
We tend to do dumb shit when we’re fucked up
Hey, you guys ready to let the dogs out?
It’s where I keep all my things. Get a lot of compliments on this. Plus it’s not a purse, it’s called a satchel. Indiana Jones wears one.
Okay, well maybe we should tell that to Rain Man, because he practically bankrupted a casino, and he was a ri-tard
I look like a nerdy hillbilly!
Not you, fat Jesus
Oh, you know what? Next week’s no good for me… The Jonas Brothers are in town. But any week after that, it’s totally fine.
He’s jackin’ his little weenus!
I’m not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school… or a Chuck E. Cheese
I have this cousin Marcus who saw one he said it blew his mind I want to make sure I never ever miss out on a Haley’s comet
Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine
Listen to me, I’m gonna’ tell you something. I know some sick people in my life, this guy is the craziest, wildest bastard I ever met in my life!
Fuck this tiger!
Here’s something I would like to remind you two of: our best friend Doug is probably face down in a ditch right now with a meth head butt-fucking his corpse!