Ma Meatloaf » 1990s

Wayne’s World – She’s Magically Babelicious (1992)

Ma Meatloaf — Thu, 09 Sep 2010 04:17:39 +0000

In my humble opinion it’s pretty difficult to take a popular SNL skit and bring it to the big screen and have success. Some notable disappointments include Coneheads, A Night at the Roxbury, Ladies Man, etc. In fact now that I think about it, only Blues Brothers and Wayne’s World do their skits justice and possibly even more. Thoughts? Zang. (”excellent” in Cantonese)

Ahh… the Mirth-Mobile…
Wayne: Tell me, when the first show is over, will you still love me when I’m an incredibly humungoid giant star?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne: Will you still love me when I’m in my hanging-out-with-Ravi-Shankar phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne: Will you still love me when I’m in my carbohydrate, sequined-jumpsuit, young-girls-in-white-cotton-panties, waking-up-in-a-pool-of-your-own-vomit, bloated-purple-dead-on-a-toilet phase?
Cassandra: Yeah.
Wayne: Okay, party. Bonus.
It’s like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn’t write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees
Benjamin Kane: Oh, actually all champagne is French, it’s named after the region. Otherwise it’s sparkling white wine. Americans of course don’t recognize the convention, so it becomes that thing of calling all of their sparkling white “champagne”, even though by definition they’re not
Wayne: Ah yes, it’s a lot like “Star Trek: The Next Generation”. In many ways it’s superior but will never be as recognized as the original
Russel: It will be Terry’s job to give the actors their hand cue
Wayne: Excuse me, Russel, but I believe I requested the hand job…
I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored
That is a babe. She makes me feel kinda funny, like when we used to climb the rope in gym class
Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?
Wayne: So, do you come to Milwaukee often?
Alice Cooper: Well, I’m a regular visitor here, but Milwaukee has certainly had its share of visitors. The French missionaries and explorers began visiting here in the late 16th century
Pete: Hey, isn’t “Milwaukee” an Indian name?
Alice Cooper: Yes, Pete, it is. In fact , it’s pronounced “mill-e-wah-que” which is Algonquin for “the good land.”
Wayne: I was not aware of that
Did you ever see that “Twilight Zone” where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn’t die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?
Benjamin is nobody’s friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he’d be pralines and dick
Marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries
She’s a fox. In French she would be called “la renarde” and she would be hunted with only her cunning to protect her.
Garth: She’s a babe
Wayne: She’s a robo-babe. In Latin she would be called “babia majora”
Garth: If she were a president she would be Baberaham Lincoln
I definitely smell a pork product of some kind

Rumplestilskin’s a Good Man – Big Daddy (1999)

Ma Meatloaf — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 23:34:12 +0000

We all know Adam Sandler does his best acting when he acts like a little kid (see Billy Madison) and this movie is no different. His relationships with kids in his movies is pretty priceless. I can’t imagine how these kids pull off a scene with him without pooping or peeing in their pants. Haha. Poopie. Man, I could pull of the Sandler kid thing too. Pee. Pee.

Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket, so relax!
Hey, stay away from the frozen food section, Corinne! Your boobs’ll harden
Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking dope. I ain’t gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, go by the see saw smoke a j
…but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!
They went together like lamb and tuna fish
Ow, Scuba Steve! Damn You!
Phil D’Amato: And for the record, where did you work while attending medical school?
Corinne: Hooters
Hi, Julian! How ya doin’? I’m Scuba Sam, Scuba Steve’s father. You see, my boy needs to take a bath, the only problem is he’s afraid to bathe alone. So, I was wondering if you’d keep him company in the tub.Terrific, and after your bath, you need to try and study hard because if you want to be in the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart.
What’s in the bag Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassles?
My friends make fun of me all the time, too. I’ve seen them, like, twenty-five times. Tommy Shaw, when I was, like, sixteen years old, I was at the concert, he actually reached out and grabbed my hand, pulled me up on stage, and I got to do the robot voice for Mr. Roboto!
You have a belly button, well we all have belly buttons. You know what? We all love Yoohoo, especially Yoohoo with a little rum

If your name is Steve or you have a friend like Steve, buy this shirt now! Chicks will dig you!

Ishmael Likes Me – Kingpin (1996), Movie Lines and Quotes

Ma Meatloaf — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 22:19:15 +0000

I enjoy the occasional night out at the bowling alley. Some Budweisers, soggy nachos and smelly shoes. All good right? But you know what makes it better? When you get that guy in the next lane sauntering up with his ball bag, shiny swirly yellow ball, custom made wrist guard and his own damn bowling shoes. Now, that my friends, makes my bowling night a success. Kingpin captures the beauty of the bowling lanes and its cast of weirdos and I love them for that.

Some corn stalks were broken and I tried to fix them
One more time, sweetness
Tanqueray and Tab and keep ‘em comin’
Hi. Not you. Hi.
Run for the hills everybody, there’s a giant shit-cloud coming
Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don’t mow another guy’s lawn
I don’t puke when I drink. I puke when I don’t
The world can really kick your ass. I only have a VAGUE recollection of when it wasn’t kickin’ mine
It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he’s the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He’s got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst
Hi Mr. Skidmark
Your act is about as fresh as a Foghat concert
What is it about good sex that makes me have to crap? You really jarred something loose tiger
Jonathan, run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line. Tennessee! Kentucky! Find the meat! Uh, deeper, Jonathan
Roy: Hey, I hope you don’t mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one, whew.
Mr. Boorg: We don’t have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy: I’m gonna brush my teeth
I’m unable to have children. Nasty cheese grating accident as a boy
Just because you’re familiar with the missionary position doesn’t make you a missionary

LOOO-HOOO-ZUH-HER! – Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994), Movie Lines and Quotes

Ma Meatloaf — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 22:27:51 +0000

Jim Carrey is masterful as Ace Ventura with his energy, acccents and overall enthusiasm. But, I’d rather talk about Sean Young. I mean, The Crying Game has nothing on this monumental performance. Who would have known that Lois Einhorn was Ray Finkle and Ray Finkle was Lois Einhorn! Ewwwww.

I’m in Psychoville and Finkle’s the Mayor
Congratulations on your success. You smell terrific
If I’m not back in five minutes… just wait longer
Snowflake? Here Snowflake!
Alll righty then!
It was all that Dan Marino’s fault, everyone knows that. If he had held the ball, laces out, like he was supposed to, Ray would never have missed that kick. Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea and rot in hell. Would you like a cookie, son?
Like a glove! (I always enjoy yelling this when I successfully parallel park!)
Good question, Aguado. First, I’d establish a motive. In this case the killer saw the size of the bug’s DICK and became insanely jealous. Then I’d lose 30 pounds… PORKIN’ his wife
I’m looking for Ray Finkle…..and a clean pair of shorts.
Excuse me. I’d like to “ass” you a few questions
Holy Testicle Tuesday!!!
DO NOT go in there! Wooooooo
Warning. Assholes are closer than they appear
For God’s sake, Jim, I’m a doctor, not a pool man!
Aye, Captain Stubing. How are Gopher and Doc? Permission to come aboard, sir!

Like Warm Apple Pie – American Pie (1999), Movie Lines and Quotes

Ma Meatloaf — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 00:06:51 +0000

As far as I know, American Pie was the first to coin the word MILF. That right there puts them up high in my book. Think about it, the writers created a word that is tossed around as often pizza dough in Little Italy. That’s amazing. Dude should get a bonus. Wonder if he or she was the same sicko that thought of the apple pie scene? I mean c’mon a nice lemon meringue would have been so much more tasteful.

Boys, boys, boys. I’m on the offensive, the Sherman tank is going back in, locked on target, flying in stealth mode under enemy sex radar, ready to make the payload – again
I’m a sophisticated sex robot, sent back in time to change the future for one lucky lady
This one time, at band camp, I stuck a flute in my pussy
No longer will our penises remain flaccid and unused! From now on, we fight for every man out there who isn’t getting laid when he should be! This is our day! This is our time! And, by God, we’re not gonna let history condemn us to celibacy! We will make a stand! We will succeed! We will get laid!
It’s like playing a tennis ball against a brick wall, which can be fun. It can be fun, but it’s not a game
M-I-L-F Mom I’d Like to Fuck!
Go trig boy! It’s your birthday!
Mom? Shitbreak?
What’s my name? SAY MY NAME BITCH!
I would like to make an announcement. There is a beautiful woman masturbating on my bed
You realize we’re all going to go to college as virgins. They probably have special dorms for people like us
Separately we are flawed and vulnerable, but together we are the masters of our sexual destiny
I have to admit, you know, I did the fair bit of masturbating when I was a little younger. I used to call it stroking the salami, yeah, you know, pounding the old pud. I never did it with baked goods, but you know your uncle Mort, he pets the one-eyed snake 5-6 times a day
Friends call me Nova as in Casanova