• Hey, the money I won in the cab accident is kicking ass in the stockmarket, so relax!
• Hey, stay away from the frozen food section, Corinne! Your boobs’ll harden
• Man this Yoohoo is good, you know what else is good, smoking dope. I ain’t gonna rat you out. You know, puffing the cheeba, go by the see saw smoke a j
• …but I wipe my own ass, I wipe my own ass!
• They went together like lamb and tuna fish
• Ow, Scuba Steve! Damn You!
• Phil D’Amato: And for the record, where did you work while attending medical school?
  Corinne: Hooters
• Hi, Julian! How ya doin’? I’m Scuba Sam, Scuba Steve’s father. You see, my boy needs to take a bath, the only problem is he’s afraid to bathe alone. So, I was wondering if you’d keep him company in the tub.Terrific, and after your bath, you need to try and study hard because if you want to be in the Scuba Squad, you have to be smart.
• What’s in the bag Corrine? Chicken wings? Booby tassles?
• My friends make fun of me all the time, too. I’ve seen them, like, twenty-five times. Tommy Shaw, when I was, like, sixteen years old, I was at the concert, he actually reached out and grabbed my hand, pulled me up on stage, and I got to do the robot voice for Mr. Roboto!
• You have a belly button, well we all have belly buttons. You know what? We all love Yoohoo, especially Yoohoo with a little rum

If your name is Steve or you have a friend like Steve, buy this shirt now! Chicks will dig you!

• Ray. If someone asks if you are a god, you say, “yes!”
• Mother pus bucket!
• He slimed me
• Your theories are the worst kind of popular tripe, your methods are sloppy, and your conclusions are highly questionable. You are a poor scientist, Dr. Venkman!
• Anybody wanna play Parcheesi?
• I tried to think of the most harmless thing. Something I loved from my childhood. Something that could never ever possibly destroy us. Mr. Stay Puft!
• Take me now, subcreature
• How you doing? Why don’t you have some of the brie, it’s at room temperature!
• Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here
• I collect spores, molds, and fungus
• Listen… do you smell something?
• Are you troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night? Do you experience feelings of dread in your basement or attic? Have you or your family ever seen a spook, spectre or ghost?
• Well, let’s say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning’s sample, it would be a Twinkie… thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds
• Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though
• I thought Gozer was a man
• Sir, what we have here is what we call a non-repeating phantasm, or a class-5 free roaming vapor, real nasty one too
• I am The Keymaster! I am The Gatekeeper!

• I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna’s purse?
• I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have to do is give me $300 in cash and keep the $700, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep
• Clark: Excuse me, could you please tell me how to get back on the express way?
  Pimp: Fuck yo mama!
  Clark: Thank you very much
• Hey Knucklehead, set us up with four Red eye’s will ya?
• Do you ever “bop your baloney”?
• Ellen: I honestly don’t think we’re going to find the Grand Canyon on this road.
  Clark: Jesus, it’s only the biggest God-damn hole in the world.
  Aunt Edna: Clark, watch your language!
  Clark: Make that the second biggest.
• Cousin Eddie: How do you like yours, Clark?
  Clark: Oh, medium rare, a little pink inside.
  Cousin Eddie: No, I mean your bun
• I think you’re all fucked in the head. We’re ten hours from the fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I’ll tell you something. This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun. We’re all gonna have so much fucking fun we’ll need plastic surgeory to remove our godamn smiles. You’ll be whistling ‘Zip-A-Dee Doo-Dah’ out of you’re assholes! I gotta be crazy! I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose. Praise Marty Moose! Holy Shit!
• Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that
• Sorry, folks! We’re closed for two weeks to clean and repair America’s favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh!
• I distinctly ordered the Antartic Blue Super Sports Wagon with C.B. and optional rally fun pack

Adventureland DVD

If you watch Adventureland don’t ever expect to win that big ass stuffed animal at your local fair. After I watched it, I didn’t even bother to try and sink a basket on the hoop that’s too small for the basketball and I’m damn good at basketball. I do love fairs though, so I’ll still go, but mostly for the food. Every year it seems like they find more stuff to fry. This year took top honors though. I mean, we’ve all see the fried artichoke hearts, fried mushrooms and even the fried Twinkie. But, how about fried butter?!?!? Yes my friends, I witnessed a booth that was slinging fried butter. You could even back that up with some chocolate covered bacon. I also witnessed a fresh vomit pattie within 15 yards of this booth. Needless to say I kept walking and sought safe haven in a turkey drumstick the size of my arm.

• We pay little Malaysian kids 10 cents a day to make these toys, we can’t just “give” them away
• Yeah, Frigo was my best friend. Then, I turned four
• Hey, James… you still have anymore of those baby joints?
• Hey, litterbug! In the clown mouth!
• My theory is you can’t just avoid everybody you screw up with. You can trust me on that because I’m a New Yorker
• We are doing the work of lazy, pathetic morons
• Oh, but I’m an atheist, maybe more of a pragmatic nihilist I guess or an existential pagan if you will…
• A little more than 40% of these fish are dead
• Cabbie, hot dog vendor, marijuana delivery guy. The world is my oyster
• “Audentes Fortunas Juvat”, Fortune Favors the Bold. Virgil said that
• That was a whole corndog!
• Tommy Frigo: James, don’t get all drunk and fall asleep or anything.
  James Brennan: Why not?
  Tommy Frigo: Because I’ll jack off on your face

Pretty sweet soundtrack right here

• Dean Ulich: Frankly, I’m not too wild about this next even but it has become a tradition here at Adams: The Belching Contest
  Dean Ulich: First up, Frederick Palowakski
  Fred “The Ogre” Palowakski, Alpha Beta:  It’s “Ogre” you asshole!
  Dean Ulich: “Ogre, you asshole.”, uh “Ogre”
• This is bullshit! I want bush, pan down
• I thought I was looking at my mother’s old douche-bag, but that’s in Ohio
• Nerds saw me naked!
• Mopery is exposing yourself to a blind person
• I thought I was looking at my mother’s old douche-bag, but that’s in Ohio
• Clap your hands everybody, and everybody clap your hands. We’re Lambda Lambda Lambda and Omega Mu. We come here on stage tonight to do our show for you. We got a rockin’ rhythm and a hi-tech sound that’ll make you move your body down to the ground. We got Poindexter on the violin, and Lewis and Gilbert will be joining in. We got Booger Presley on the mean guitar and a rap by little ol’ me Lamar. We got Takashi beating on his gong, the boys and the Mu’s are clapping along. And just when you thought, ya seen it all, along comes a Lambda four foot tall. So Wormser come on out here on the floor, so we can move our bodies, like never before. Break!
• What the fuck’s a frush?
• Booger: Big deal! Did you get in her pants?
  Gibert: She’s not that kind of girl, Booger.
  Booger: Why? Does she have a penis?
• Jocks only think about sports, nerds only think about sex
• Hey guys…… wonder joints
• Booger: Step aside momma, I wanna see some of that muff!
  Takashi: Oh Hair pie! Hair pie!