Stupid Is As Stupid Does – Forrest Gump (1994), Movie Lines and Quotes
Gump is just good people, you know? Great, great movie. Little long, but well worth the watch. As for quotability, shoot, even my pops can quotes some lines. He loved ‘ol Bubba and his shrimp dialogue. I can still see him sticking out his bottom lip…shrimp kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. My favorite part of the movie is when little Forrest teaches Elvis how to properly do a pelvic thrust dance. Good stuff.
- Hello. My name’s Forrest, Forrest Gump. You want a chocolate?
- I’m sorry I ruined your New Year’s Eve party, Lieutenant Dan. She tasted like cigarettes
- That’s all I have to say about that
- That kid may be the stupidest son of a bitch I’ve ever seen, but he sure is fast!
- I am living off the government tit! Sucking it dry!
- There was Dallas, from Phoenix; Cleveland – he was from Detroit; and Tex… well, I don’t remember where Tex come from
- Sorry to ruin your black panther party
- Bumper Sticker Guy: Hey man! Hey listen, I was wondering if you might help me. ‘Cause I’m in the bumper sticker business and I’ve been trying to think of a good slogan, and since you’ve been such a big inspiration to the people around here I thought you might be able to help me jump into – WOAH! Man, you just ran through a big pile of dog shit!
Forrest Gump: It happens
Bumper Sticker guy: What, shit?
Forrest Gump: Sometimes - Nobody gives a hunky shit who you are, pus ball. You’re not even a low-life, scum-sucking maggot. Get your ass on the bus, you’re in the army now!
- When I was in China on the All-American Ping Pong team, I just loved playing ping-pong with my Flexolite ping pong paddle
- Like I was sayin’, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Dey’s uh, shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. There’s pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That- that’s about it.
- Bubba: My given name is Benjamin Buford Blue, but people call me Bubba. Just like one of them ol’ redneck boys. Can you believe that?
Forrest Gump: My name’s Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump - My momma always said, “Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.”
Shake and Bake! – Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby (2006)
Dear Lord Baby Jesus, Talladega Nights is a special movie. A movie about friends, competition, true love and…ahhh naw just kidding you LBJ. It’s about poking fun at NASCAR and rednecks. Haha. I had you going there Lord Baby Jesus. Now answer my prayers and let me win my soapbox race down at the community center this afternoon. Amen.
- America is all about speed. Hot, nasty, badass speed. -Eleanor Roosevelt, 1936
- I like to picture Jesus as a figure skater. He wears like a white outfit, and He does interpretive ice dances of my life’s journey
- No one lives forever, no one. But with advances in modern science and my high level income, it’s not crazy to think I can live to be 245, maybe 300. Heck, I just read in the newspaper that they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia
- No, ma’am. I haven’t seen my daddy in years. But, my mama say he’s out racing cars, and, well, dipping his wick in anything that moves
- I tell you what, Ricky, you are truly blessed. These two are two in a million, just like Carley’s ta-tas. You won’t find another rack like that, I guarantee it
- With all due respect, I didn’t realize you’d gotten experimental surgery to get your balls removed
- Dear Lord baby Jesus, lyin’ there in your ghost manger, just lookin’ at your Baby Einstein developmental videos, learnin’ ’bout shapes and colors. I would like to thank you for bringin’ me and my mama together, and also that my kids no longer sound like retarded gang-bangers
- Dear Lord Baby Jesus, I want to thank you for this wonderful meal, my two beautiful son’s, Walker and Texas Ranger, and my Red-Hot Smokin’ Wife, Carley
- There is something I want to get off my chest. It’s about that summer, when you went away to community college. I got an offer to do Playgirl Magazine, and I did it. I did a full spread for Playgirl Magazine. I mean spread man, I pulled my butt apart and stuff. I was totally nude. it was weird, I… I mean you probably didn’t hear about it because I went under the name of Mike Honcho. But I just wanted you to know that. If you can hear me, if it got into your brain somehow. That I spread my buttcheeks as Mike Honcho
- Help me Jesus! Help me Jewish God! Help me Allah! AAAAAHHH! Help me Tom Cruise! Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft on me to get the fire off me!
- Jean Girard: Soon you will know what it is like to be beaten by the hands of somebody who is truly better than you. As William Blake wrote ‘The catworm forgives the plow”.
Ricky Bobby: Well I got something for you from the late great Colonel Sanders who said “I’m to drunk to taste this chicken” - Hey. I’m Ricky Bobby. When you’re workin’ on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you should have the right tools too. That’s why you should use… MayPax. The official tampon of NASCAR
- Well let’s see. I got mauled by a cougar, my Crystal Gayle shirt is ruined, and I didn’t learn dick about driving. Other than that, it was great
- Ricky Bobby: From now on, you’re the Magic Man and I’m El Diablo.
Cal Naughton, Jr.: What does Diablo mean?
Ricky Bobby: It’s like… Spanish for like a fighting chicken - My husband Gregory and I want only that what every other couple wants. To tame komodo dragons in Sri Lanka and teach them to perform Hamlet
- If we wanted two wussies, we would have named them Dr. Quinn and Medicine Woman!
- Where are you, Pepé Le Bitch?
- I will let you go, Ricky. But first, I want you to say…”I… love… crepes.”
- I like to think of Jesus like with giant eagles wings, and singin’ lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd with like an angel band and I’m in the front row and I’m hammered drunk!
- Here’s the deal I’m the best there is. Plain and simple. I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence (This is my new motto for life!)
- Now it is time for the matador to dance with the blind shoe-maker! (Wait, I changed my mind, this my new motto for life!!!)
Fuck Off, Pigs – A Fish Called Wanda (1998)
Wow, this could be my first ever post on an Oscar winner! Good for Wanda! I went through a major crush on this movie…used to watch it all the time. It’s that good. I need another viewing pronto. Kevin Kline rules this film. Kills it. Owns it. I will name my first born Otto after him.
- Pork away pal. Fuck her blue
- Wake up Limey fish! (I love yelling this to my goldfish)
- Otto: Don’t call me stupid
Wendy: Why on earth not?
Otto: Oh, you English are so superior, aren’t you? Well, would you like to know what you’d be without us, the good ol’ U.S. of A. to protect you? I’ll tell you. The smallest fucking province in the Russian Empire, that’s what! So don’t call me stupid, lady. Just thank me - Look, you obviously don’t know anything about intelligence work, lady. It’s an X-K-Red-27 technique
Wendy: Well, thank you for popping in and protecting us
Otto: If it wasn’t for us, you’d all be speaking German! Singing “Deutschland, Deutschland über alles…” - You can stick this marriage right in your bottom
- To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people. I’ve known sheep who could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs, but you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?
- He thought that the Gettysburg Address was where Lincoln lived
- What is this? “Hump a Limey” week?
- Otto: You really like animals don’t you, Ken? What’s the attraction
Ken: Well, you can t-t-trust them and they don’t sh-sh-sh-sh
Otto: Shit on you?
Ken: Show off all the t-time - You’re a very attractive man, Ken. You’re… smart, you’ve got wonderful bones, great eyes, and you dress really interestingly
- Aristotle was not Belgian, the principle of Buddhism is not “every man for himself”, and the London Underground is not a political movement. Those are all mistakes, Otto. I looked them up
- Not you Ken, you have a beautiful speaking voice… when it works
- Nice fish, Ken. You know what Nietzsche said about animals? “They were God’s second blunder.”
- How very interesting. You’re a true vulgarian, aren’t you?
The Deer Hunter DVD Winner!
Congratulations to the duo at M.Y.M.H.M or Movies You May Have Missed for those of you who are acronym impaired. Here’s what Juan had to say when notified he was the winner of The Deer Hunter DVD.
“MMMmmm Meatloaf and Movies? How can you go wrong! Lee and I will arm wrestle over who gets to keep the DVD. Deer Hunter is certainly not a Movie to Miss!”
Remember all you have to do to be eligible to win our giveaways is to subscribe to our blog or leave a comment on our postings! It’s that easy people.
I Love You Bro Montana – I Love You, Man (2009)
I recently watched this movie on Netflix and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised. Maybe it’s just because I’m a Jason Segel fan (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Freaks and Geeks), but I really enjoyed this movie. There were plenty of LOL moments (Sorry, had to do it. I will never do the LOL thing again). Oh yeah, they also do some mean jamming to RUSH which is one of my favorite bands, so bonus points there. Without further adieu…
- Totally… Totes McGotes
- Why does everything I do sound like a leprechaun?
- Hey there Miss Moneypussy. Wanna jump on my jet pack?
- She’s got a bush like a porcupine! (Please God, don’t ever let me utter these words)
- This is the man cave, there’s no women allowed in here. I got a jerk-off station for God’s sake
- Hi Peter, I saw your billboards, they’re spectacular. I’m sorry for calling you a whore. Best of luck with Sydney, if you’re not still together… you can Facebook me
- Also, you got to understand, Zooey, Peter matured sexually at a very early age. I remember taking him swimming when he was twelve-years-old, kid had a bush like a forty-year-old Serbian
- Peter, I am a man. I have an ocean of testosterone flowing through my veins
- Slapping the bass! Slappa da bass! Slappa da bass mon! Slappa de bass mon!
- Zooey, you are about to marry one of the most honest, kind and fun-loving people I’ve ever had the honor of knowing. The Pistol is a pleasure giver that’s for sure. So beautiful Zooey, give it back. Yeah? Return the favor. And if you do, I guarantee that you will have a beautiful and pleasure filled union
- Sydney Fife: You get home safe, Pistol
Peter Klaven: You got it, Joben.
Sydney Fife: I’m sorry, what?
Peter Klaven: Er… nothing
Sydney Fife: No, what did you say?
Peter Klaven: Nah, I don’t know… You nicknamed me Pistol, and I just called you… “Joben”… It means nothing… I don’t… I’m drunk… I’m gonna call a cab - I still wanna hang out. Despite that joke. You’re better than that
- Latress on the menjay
- I will see you there, or I will see you on another time!
