• They’re wheels, numbskull. They make the cart roll
• Well, there won’t be any berries in the fruit salad now, so we all lose
• I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening. All my brain blood was in my boner
• Oh: I’m a virgin by choice.
  Zed: Ha. Not your choice!
• What transpires within the confines of the walls of Sodom, stays within the confines of the walls of Sodom
• We are the Hebrews. Righteous people – not very good at sports
• Hey, I’m peeing on my face too… on the inside!
• Loincloth rising
• Did you shoot my cow?
• Don’t worry she’s not a virgin anymore! She’s with me!
• I saved a life with my love making!
• Muscle tribe of danger and excellence
• That is quite a coincidence, I want you to sit on the poley of poleys

• I bet if I suggested a game of Quidditch he’d cum in his pants
• We are gonna make s’mores with white chocolate
• Sometimes I call myself “The Booby Watcher”, and I have my own comic book. “The Adventures of The Booby Watcher”
• Ronnie Shields: You’re my PIC, Wheeler
  Wheeler: What’s a PIC?
  Ronnie Shields: Partner in crime. You’re my PIC. Just don’t cock-block me tonight
• Dude, I just spent the afternoon in Middle-earth with glee-glop and the floopty-doos, all right? Give me a fucking break
• I’m not here to service you, I’m here to service these young boys
• School Boy: Hey nice cow outfit. Where can I pick one of those up at, the gay zoo? Homo
  Danny: No, no. It’s not a cow. It’s a a minotaur. It’s a creature of myth. And he got this one out of your mom’s closet
  Wheeler: She let me keep it after I fucked her
• No, I like to rock n’ roll all night and *part* of every day. I usually have errands… I can only rock from like 1-3
• Chicken wings, chicken wings, hot dogs and baloney, Chicken and macaroni, Chillin’ with my homies, Chicken wings, Chicken wings
• Diana has put away her bosom. Apollo has lifted his skirt. The day has been launched
• Why don’t you lay out two lines of your selfishness, which is your blow, draw the shades, take the phone off the hook, grab a straw, and snort!
• Danny: Man, why do you bow for that guy?
  Augie Farks: Because he’s the king, and he rules the entire realm.
  Danny: Oh he rules the entire realm? Oh my bad.
  Danny: Is that when he is or isn’t whacking it to The Sims?
• Well, well, well. If it isn’t Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I’m-full-of-shit?
• Gayle Sweeny: You know what I used to have for breakfast? Cocaine. Know what I had for lunch? Cocaine
  Wheeler: What did you have for dinner?
  Danny: Was it cocaine?
• Me and the judge have a special relationship… I don’t wanna get too graphic but I sucked his dick for drugs

Gayle Sweeney does rule this movie though!