• Kenneth Park. Class of 2004. Hi!!
• Yeah, I’m cravin burgers- furburgers
• Hey Randy! What? The devil! Whuh? The devil is everywhere…
• Yeeeah, just cause you’re hung like a moose doesn’t mean you gotta do porn
• Hmmm, Kumar, so, is that like five o’s or two u’s
• The Doogie line always works on strippers, Laaap Dance
• Did Doogie Howser just steal my fucking car?
• Cindy Kim: Have you seen a Korean guy around here?
  Hippie Student: Yeah, only when I open my eyes though
• Let’s go get some fuckin’ Mountain Dew
• HAROLD: Hey! What the hell are you doing? KUMAR: I’m trimming my pubes. HAROLD: Why aren’t you doing this in your room, man? KUMAR: The mirror’s in here. Hey, check it out. It’s like a bonsai tree. HAROLD: Hey! KUMAR: Besides, man, it makes your johnson look totally bigger. HAROLD: Please! Are those my scissors? Dude, I trim my nose hair with those! KUMAR: Dude, I’ve been cutting my ass hair with them for the past six months
• It’s gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, wash up, fuck my wife, watch TV – anything you want. Mi casa es su casa. Just don’t do anything the Good Lord wouldn’t do
• I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries, and 4 large cherry cokes
• You guys might have wanted to stay away from our special sauce tonight. Me and Pookie, we added a secret ingredient. I’ll give you a hint. It’s semen
• Harold: …The universe tends to unfold as it should.
  Kumar: What is that? Some fortune cookie?
• Ding-dong! May I interject for a second? As a Burger Shack employee for the past three years, if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that if you’re craving White Castle, the burgers here just don’t cut it. In fact, just thinking about those tender little White Castle burgers with those little, itty-bitty grilled onions that just explode in your mouth like flavor crystals every time you bite into one… just makes me want to burn this motherfucker down. Come on, Pookie, let’s burn this motherfucker down! Come on, Pookie! Let’s burn it, Pookie! Let’s burn this motherfucker down! Let’s burn it down! Let’s burn it! So you guys maybe should just suck it up and go to White Castle.

I’m a firm believer that Anchorman just gets better and better every time you see it. I’ll admit I wasn’t a huge fan after the first viewing, but now I can’t get enough of Ron Burgandy and Co.

• I killed a guy with a trident!
• I’ll have three fingers of Glenlivet, with a little bit of pepper… and some cheese
• You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature buddha, covered in hair
• Just doing my workout, Tuesdays arms and back
• Jazz flute is for little fairy boys!
• It’s called Sex Panther by Odeon. It’s illegal in nine countries… Yep, it’s made with bits of real panther, so you know it’s good
• I’m gonna punch you in the ovary…straight shot to the baby maker!
• Oh by the knights of Columbus that hurts!
• San Diego…it actually means Whale Vagina
• I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn’t cotton candy like the guy said… my tummy itches
• Go fuck yourself San Diego
• People call me the Bry man; I’m the stylish one of the group. I know what you’re asking yourself and the answer is yes. I have a nick name for my penis. Its called the Octagon, but I also nick named my testes – my left one is James Westfall and my right one is Doctor Kenneth Noisewater. You ladies play your cards right you just might get to meet the whole gang
• She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again
• I pooped a Cornish game hen
• I’m Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded
• I’m a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That’s what kind of man I am. You’re just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It’s science
• Como Estan Bitches?
• I love scotch. Scotchy, scotch, scotch (I order this way at the local bar…they think it’s funny…especially after the 50th time.)
• Sweet Lincoln’s mullet
• We have a saying in my country – the coyote of the desert likes to eat the heart of the young and the blood drips down to his children for breakfast, lunch and dinner and only the ribs will be broken